First Declaration of Public Intent

So that last post--my first here in a while--was my first public announcement that we're thinking about adopting #4. It's a crazy idea, one that could only be the product of one of the inmates, and cooler heads may prevail--which is, in part, why I'm blogging about it here. I'm not sure we have any cooler heads in our household. Poptart has admitted to both envying friends with four kids and feeling too old to do the pregnancy/baby thing again, and has leapt to my defense when I wondered aloud if my motives were crappy--want another kid, don't want to be pregnant, don't want to give birth, nurse, get up every two hours--so what, am I kid shopping, I asked? Saying no, Let my kid spend the first nine months of her life crying in a crib, no warm breast, no one to do for her everything I did for mine? Just for my convenience?

No, he snapped, that's going to happen anyway. The point is to help--to get one more kid out of that situation. But if the countries Americans adopt from each offer a quota of babies, am I being selfish to take one when lots of other people want a child to raise? Presumabley, eventually, it's one more. I guess.

So he may not meet the cooler head criterion. Here's what there is to know about us, I guess: I like change. I like adventure, new things, new schools, new jobs, new faces. Risk. I went to six schools before sixth grade. He grew up entirely in the same house his mother still lives in.

But he married me. And he never, ever says no to a crazy scheme. He does ask all the questions I don't want to ask because I'm all over enthusiastic and just want to do it--buy the house, get the dog, hire the contractor, paint the walls--now. He's the crazy scheme moderator.

And I know he wants another kid. If I wanted to get pregnant he'd put aside his reservations in a heartbeat. But that's not the adventure I want to have, at this point.

I think we're going to do this. I've always thought we would do this. And now--we'll regret it if we don't do it. I'm not without some fears that we'll regret it if we do...is anyone? But he's on Beauregard wake-up duty and he's been up at five everynight this week, with some exciting three o'clock calls too--so I think we'll fill out the "which country should we choose" questionaires a little later in the week.