Whiter, More Painful Teeth in Just One Hour!

I got my teeth bleached today. I've been longing to do it and just waiting for my dentist to offer it, but still, that plus a small weekend shopping spree have left me feeling like one of these people. Swear, I'm all done spending money for a while.

Especially since, although I love the way my new, vanity enhanced teeth look, they hurt. And I already have a cold, and the kind of laryngitis that makes words possible but exhausting effort, and as always way too much to do and way too little time to do it in. And did I mention my teeth hurt?

They say it will go away in a few days but what if it doesn't? What if I have achy teeth forever now, until I have to have them all pulled out and wear false ones, and they are all out of the really white false ones that make you look younger (ok, I admit it, that was the goal) and I have to have yellow ones, really yellow ones, yellower than my teeth, which the dentist has been insisting for years weren't yellow at all no matter what my mother says?

Speaking of dentists, this is apparently what they do. Come in for a fillling, or cleaning, or whatever, and they flit in, muttering, wave at you, maybe fill a tooth or two before rushing out. But let them paint a toxic substance all over your mouth while you wear a funky little guard to keep your tongue and lips from touching your teeth, and they will sit there with you all day. I think they just like looking at their vainest patients, dorky and drooling in the name of beauty.

Why nothing on the adoption front this week? Oh, a little more cold feet. Time to write the checks, baby, and We are both--really truly both---hesitating about rocking this boat. Gert fell asleep this evening for an hour (never a good idea but it didn't work out as badly as it usually does) and we were outside with Bart and Beau and it was...easy. Two is easy. Three is hard. Four is scary, and we're flinching. You know, it's not even a little about the special needs, or the trip, or anything else. It's about the kid. Who will be here, waking up in the night, running down the driveway, trying to sit in my lpa just because everyone else is.

That was supposed to make me not want her. It isn't working. I still want to do this, I just can't actually do it right now.